No Stuffing Scabbers

Thanks to the abundant generosity of my LCI family, Scabbers "Da Cat", is spared from the possibilty of being stuffed. (He was to be my source of comfort during treatments at M.D. Anderson.) I am now in the possession of a beautiful huge stuffed FROG that is just as soft as Scabbers and has beautiful eyes that I can look into. Along with that came a blanket that is tied with knot. Each knot was tied by a family member of LCI while a prayer was said for my healing and well being. Oh my. These items and so much more will be accompanying me on my trips for treatments. The gifts I received yesterday are too numerous to list but the one that cannot go without being mentioned is the gift of love and support. You see, this was my first day back at school since my M.D. Anderson experience. As my truck ate up the miles between my home and school I became more anxious. I couldn't find words to tell myself why I was feeling this way...this was my family away from family. There should not have been an anxious bone in my body. Driving down Allie Payne, I gave it to God. (Yes.. I still hold on to things longer than necessary before giving it to my Loving Father.) He loves me so much and welcomes my pains and burdens as gifts. Strange thing to ask for in return for sacrificing His Son. Before I can give Him my burdens, I have to submit to the fact that He alone, can carry them. This demonstrates faith in Him....and that is all He asks for. "Mustard seed of faith will move mountains." Faith comes in hearing and hearing through the word of God. Once faith moves in, the love of God is inevitable. Man, He sure has a great plan for us; right down to the tiniest faction.
  I had only two tearful O FROG moments at school and continous tiny O FROG moments. I'm realizing that I remain in the O FROG moment more and more each passing day and it is wonderful. This is God's intention; for me to always have Opportunities to Fully Rely on God, and I am so thankful for that gift.
   The decision as to whether or not I will remain at work throughout this ordeal will be a one day at a time decision depending on how my body reacts to the chemotherapy. I hope to continue for as long as possible without risking my immune system. Reading the "precautions" on Taxol, the main drug I will be adminstered through Chemo, I am warned to stay away from any persons who have colds, fevers, sores, etc. I was also told not to "hug" the students and to avoid students/teachers that were ill. Hmmmm. Me not hugging kids is like me not eating. Ain't happening. Again, I will do my part in my healing that needs to be done so that I can come back in 6 months and be better than ever.
   I feel I need to dispel a myth at this time: There is absolutely no research based evidence- including M.D. Anderson's expertise data- that supports the idea that breast implants cause breast cancer. I was surprised to find that many women and men believe that there is a connection. There is none. I was asked if I regretted having the enhancement surgery that I had a year ago. I give a resounding NO!!! Had I not opted to have the surgery I am pretty sure I would have not had the mammogram. (I have a tendency to skip a couple of years between mammos because I just knew I would never have breast cancer.) If I would've missed last year's mammogram, they would not have been able to determine how fast a growing cancer it is that I have.God is in all circumstances and His fingerprints are constantly left behind. I love Him so.
With Barry working away, I still call on a phrase a dear friend shared with me after church service; "Barry's absence is not greater than God's presence." This holds true for the cancer, anxiety, etc. His presence is truly greater than all else. I am so honored and humbled by my friendship with Dolores, who is truly a blessed constant in my life as is her family, the love of my mom as only a mother can love, the love and support of Barry, as only a good man/husband can love, and last but by no measure least, the love, support, and understanding of my pray-ers which includes my LCM family, church family, and network of friends around Texas and the United States. I thank you and pray with you for both my trials and for any trials that you may be facing now or in the future. God knows your heart and is with all of you. Thank you Father for the faith shown by my brothers and sisters that You are truly our Father the God of all creation whose power is undeniable. I pray peace over all Father and that a wall of protection be wrapped around each one of them and their families. Bless them in ways Father that their eyes will see and their ears will hear what it is You will them to experience. Keep them strong in their prayers and strong in their faith and protect them from the evil one. For Your will is to be done by us here on earth just as if we were in heaven with you. You give us the power to live in Your grace. I thank you Lord.
Amen..Amen
Thank you to all who are joining me in this and other prayers. Today, as only God can do, I went from being an anxious nilly willy to becoming what has to be the most blessed person at LCI.
Loving in Christ
Patti