Dinged and Damaged

           Making a fashion statement is not something that I will ever be accused of doing in this life. (I feel pretty safe in making this statement.) When it comes to choosing new outfits I rely on the “dummy” on display…who by the way is always at least 7 sizes smaller than me.  The same can be said of my jewelry selection. I tend to go with silver for two reasons; It can be worn with basically anything and I have always liked silver jewelry. When I made the choice a few years ago to walk with Christ on a full time basis, I found myself being very happy wearing a simple silver chain with a little square flat shiny silver medallion with a cross stamped on it and the word Faith written across the square metal. Whenever an occasion called for me to wear costume jewelry I would keep my Faith necklace on and tuck it under my blouse. The times this trick wouldn’t work, I would find myself removing my beloved necklace with a heavy heart and putting it back on as soon as I got home. There was/is no superstition behind the wearing of this necklace nor is their “faith” attached to this material object. As a matter of fact there are no mysterious or awe inspiring circumstances surrounding this piece of metal. I remember seeing it on a jewelry rack at Kohl’s one day, liked it, and bought it. I simply liked it. Little did I know that the “value” of this rather inexpensive object would show itself years later while I walk on my Passionate Path in facing the trials of cancer.

    Last year while using a mixture of bleach and water, I sprayed the house and the shop. After a couple of days of this chore, I realized that the bleach, having soaked my clothes, landed on and damaged my little necklace. I tried rinsing it off with clean water to no avail. The damage was permanent. I was disappointed because even by my standards of jewelry, I could not be seen wearing something so obviously dinged and damaged. What would people think about me?

   Since the confirmation of my breast cancer diagnosis on December 26, 2011, I have been wearing a necklace with a cross given to me by a sweet young child at church. When the all the medical tests began I was unable to wear any neck jewelry. The surgery to place the port in my chest extended the time for me to go necklaceless. (I think I just made up that word.) Thanks be given to God for the answered prayers of my dear brothers and sisters in Christ for all the healings including my chest area from the surgery. Yesterday, I found myself preparing to put on the gift from my little friend when I spied my Faith necklace. It was on top of my jewelry box seemingly lying in wait. Looking at the scarred surface the thought came to me; I am dinged and damaged. As I thought ahead to the hair loss and other bodily disorders caused by my treatment, I was wondering how I would face people. How would I appear to them when I have no hair and other damaged body parts? Then I understood the value of my necklace as only God could intend and it has nothing to do with its monetary value or how it looks around my neck. Rather it has everything to do with not being ashamed of anything that God does not find shame in. He does not find shame in my appearance with or without cancer. He does not concern Himself with superficial things such as types of clothes, hair styles, shoes, necklaces… What He DOES find shame in, is my putting needless worries over things that have nothing to do with my being obedient to Him….things like, what will people think of my baldness…..my weakened state…my scarred necklace. In other words, the value of my Faith necklace is the spirit shown me by God…. Although I am dinged and damaged….I am beautiful to Him.

I thank you Father for the blessings that You give to me, the most undeserving of all your children, through the answered prayers of my Christ family. I praise You and give You all glory for the people You have placed in my life who, through faithful prayer, continue to replenish my Spirit in this fight. I ask Father that you bless all of my First Presbyterian family and those who share their gifts of love in Barry’s and my journey with cancer; those who do so openly and those who do so anonymously, for I know… they are not anonymous to You for You are the All Knowing, All Loving, Victor over All, the Great Physician, and my Wonderful Councilor. I love You Father… Abba.. and I Praise Your Name above all others, now and forever. Amen. Alleulia!!! Amen.

With Love In and Through Christ,

Patti Steele